３１．英語はなぜ難しいか（非論理的英語問題紹介）

いつも私のエッセイを読んでいただき、ありがとうございます。

今回はちょっと趣向を変え、皆さんにアメリカの言語学的問題？にチャレンジしていただきたいと思います。

この「English Illogical Spelling System」は、私の住むポートランド地方の大学で、外国語学部の学生たちの間に出回ったものです。

下記の英語をやってみてください。日本人として、英語を中学校から習い始め勉強してこられた方、英語の単語が覚えにくかった訳がなんとなく分かるのではないでしょうか。英語のスペリングはアメリカ人にも難しく、小さいころから何度も練習させられます。しかし、コンピュータの発達した今、スペルチェックがあるのは本当に有難いことですね。

English Illogical Spelling System

Foreign language students continually complain about the many endings and exceptions they must learn. The poem below illustrates the many irregularities of our own language, Imagine the frustration foreigners experience. You are to supply the last word in each line.

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

Then one fowl is goose, but two are called ＿＿＿＿＿, 1
Yet the plural of the moose should never be ＿＿＿＿＿.2

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of ＿＿＿＿＿, 3
But the plural of house is houses, not ＿＿＿＿＿.4

If the plural of man is always called ＿＿＿＿＿,5
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called ＿＿＿＿＿?6

The cow in plural may be cows or ＿＿＿＿＿,7
But the plural of vow is vows, not ＿＿＿＿＿, 8

And if I speak of a foot and you show me your ＿＿＿＿＿,9
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called ＿＿＿＿＿?10

If one is a tooth and the whole set are ＿＿＿＿＿,11
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called ＿＿＿＿＿?12

If the singular is this, and the plural is ＿＿＿＿＿,13
Should the plural of kiss be nick-named ＿＿＿＿＿?14

Then one may be that, and three would be ＿＿＿＿＿,15
Yet hat in the plural would never be ＿＿＿＿＿. 16
And the plural of rat is rats, not ＿＿＿＿＿.17

We speak of a brother and also of ＿＿＿＿＿,18
But though we say mother, we never say ＿＿＿＿＿.19

The masculine pronouns are he, his and ＿＿＿＿＿,20
But imagine the feminine, she shis and ＿＿＿＿＿.21

So English, I think, you will all ＿＿＿＿＿,22
Is the most wonderful language you ever did ＿＿＿＿＿.23

-Educational Stimuli-Superior, Wis.-

次は、

Our Queer Language

When the English a tongue speak
Why is “bread” not rhymed with “ freak”?
Will you tell me why it’s true
We say “sew” and likewise “few”?
And the maker of the verse
Cannot cap his ”horse” with “worth”.
“Bread” sounds not the same as “ heard”
“Cord” is different from “word.”
Cow is “cow,” low is “low”
“Shoe” is never rhymed with “foe”.
Think of “hose” and “dose” and “lose”.
And think of “goose” and not of “choose”.
“Doll” and “roll”, “home” and “some”
And since “pay” is rhymed with “say”
Why not “paid” with “said”, I pray?
“Mould” is not pronounced like “could”
Wherefore “done” but “gone” and “lone”.
Is there any reason known?
And in short it seems to me
Sounds and letters disagree.

楽しんでいただけましたか？
英語の単語がいかに「illogical」か納得されたでしょう。

「えっ？全く問題なかった？全て覚えて慣れることだ？」
そういえばそうですね。世の中には、天才、秀才、努力の人、いろいろいらっしゃいますね。英語にかかわっておられる皆さんに答えは必要ないと思いますが、「English Illogical Spelling System」の答えは、一応、下に明記します。

1. geese
2. meese
3. mice
4. hice
5. men
6. pen
7. cattle
8. vattle
9. feet
10. beet
11. teeth
12. beeth
13. these
14. kese
15. those
16. hose
17. rose
18. brethren
19. methren
20. him
21. shim
22. agree
23. see